


Prank War

by arrafrost



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man (Comicverse)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Prank Wars, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-05 05:28:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17318855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arrafrost/pseuds/arrafrost
Summary: Peter honestly has no idea how it escalated to the point where he’s using his powers as Spider-Man to scale a dorm (that isn’t his), to sneak into a room (that isn’t his), with a web-filled explosive devise on his back (that one actually belongs to him). But the thing is, it was Wade Wilson started this prank war. And Peter Parker is most certainly going to finish it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this back in November for a tumblr prompt and completely forgot to put it on AO3. My bad! Happy New Year!

Peter honestly has no idea how it escalated to the point where he’s using his powers as Spider-Man to scale a dorm (that isn’t his), to sneak into a room (that isn’t his), with a web-filled explosive devise on his back (that one actually belongs to him). 

He shouldn’t be using Spider-Man for this. Spider-Man represents the good and just parts of him, the parts that want to save people and give people hope in times of hardship… not someone that sneaks into the room of a particularly annoying classmate to hide a device that will go off the moment that classmate has returned from his Art History class and cover both the room and the person in one of his most sticky solutions of webbing. 

That is, however, what he is using Spider-Man for this very instance. Because Wade Wilson started this prank war. And Peter Parker is most certainly going to finish it.

Physics class was meant to be a bird course for Peter Parker. He was bright and he’d already taken advanced courses in high school that covered most of what they were learning in this first year course at university. This course was going to be used for catching up on sleep that he missed out on from other courses and being a superhero.

Instead, he got stuck next to one of the most hopeless people he’d ever met. Wade Wilson. It didn’t make sense why this guy was taking a science course (except that he later explained it was mandatory for him to take at least two science courses) because he did not understand anything. Every two seconds the guy was learning over to Peter and asking him to re-explain everything the professor was telling them. The moment Peter closed his eyes, that raspy voice would wake him up, and Peter wasn’t even getting paid to be this man’s in-class tutor. It was ridiculous. 

After two weeks of this, Peter made the executive decision to arrive just in time for class and sit down in the front of the class - about eight rows in front of where he usually sat at the back next to Wade. And while Peter didn’t get to sleep, because he was right there where the professor could clearly see him, he did get a chance to zone out and not have someone asking stupid questions the entire lecture. It was amazing. It was exactly how Peter would be spending this class from then on.

That is until their next class when Peter went to sit down in his new front row seat and immediately fell to the floor as the chair broke underneath him. He felt it coming before it happened, his spidey sense tingling, but he didn’t have anything to grab onto. He picked up one of the perfectly good screws after the class finished laughing at him and the professor shushed everyone and asked Peter if he was okay. Peter turned around and his eyes found Wade. The man wasn’t looking at him but he was twirling a screwdriver between his fingers. Oh, he was going to be more than okay. 

The next class, Wade found himself glued to his seat but he managed to pull himself off and walked confidently out of class with his Hello Kitty boxers showing through the new hole in the ass of his pants. He winked at Peter as he sauntered by. 

It only took a whoopee cushion, an air horn, and a particularly loud shriek because of thumbtacks before their professor pulled the two of them aside and banned them from pulling pranks on each other during class. That should have ended everything… but Peter came home to vaseline on the door knob of his dorm room. This was the start of level two pranks.

But first, Peter had to figure out where Wade’s dorm was and he was making it exceptionally difficult. It was like he knew Peter was following him - and he probably did, because he would lose him every single time. So Peter took to pranking him at Meal Hall instead. Any food prank that Peter could google, he tried it on Wade. And they almost all worked - even though Wade should have been expecting it - because Wade  _loved_  food. 

Now that Physics was a safe space away from the pranks, Wade and Peter started talking. It started with Wade stopping by Peter’s new front seat to tell him how impressed he was with that last prank - or to let him know that his prank food was actually delicious and could he do something with pancakes next time? Which turned into Peter getting up and sitting in his old spot next to Wade to properly discuss how they managed to pull off their last pranks. 

It was strange how well they got along when they were relentlessly pranking each other outside of class, but now that they could have a space to banter and get to know each other… they were turning out to be pretty good friends. Sometimes they would go entire classes without taking about pranks and instead Peter would tell him things about Aunt May and, in turn, Wade would talk about his foster mom, Al. The more they talked, the milder the pranks got and the closer their friendship got. Peter was fairly certain he was going to gain a lifelong friendship out of this prank war. 

And then he came home to his dorm room to find all of his furniture attached to his ceiling. So now Peter was dressed as Spider-Man, inside Wade’s room (that he knew was Wade’s because he watched him as Spider-man), planting a non-lethal web-bomb that would leave Wade and his room sticky for several days. 

“Holy crap, Spider-Man is in my room!” 

Peter jumped up, hiding the bomb that he was about to put under Wade’s desk behind his back as he stood up straight. 

“Dude! You’re so cool! Can I get your autograph?” 

“Uh…” Peter was completely taken off guard. Wade’s class hadn’t ended yet. He shouldn’t be here. He also shouldn’t be seeing Peter as Spider-Man (not that he knew Peter was under the mask, though he’d figure it out if he did leave this web-bomb in his room). And Wade was a fan. An actual spidey-fan. 

Without waiting for an answer, Wade scrambled to his desk to grab a piece of paper and a pen. But before he could thrust them at Spider-Man, he hesitated and glanced around. “Wait, why are you in my room? I’m not in trouble, am I?”

Peter coughed and tried to do his best to lower his voice, “Oh, uh, no you’re not-”

“Is there a bad guy in my room?”

“What? No!” 

“You couldn’t be here because of my huge crush on you so-”

Peter’s heart stopped and he stared bug-eyed at his prank-friend before he managed to take a breath and realize that Wade had a crush on Spider-Man, not him.

Wade leaned in and whispered, “But don’t tell my friend, Peter. He’s so cute and easily flustered that pranking him is basically like flirting. I nailed his furniture to his ceiling to spell out ‘date me’ so we’ll see how that goes.”

“That’s why you flipped my room?” Peter shouted, forgetting to disguise his voice or not give himself away with his actual words.

“Wait. You’re room?”

“Um. Nope. Nothing! Gotta go!” Peter immediately flung himself out of the open window, accidentally dropping the web-bomb as he dove into the empty air. He swung to the next building, landing on the wall just in time to hear the bomb go off and see sprays of web fly out of the open window. Wade shouted loudly, confused and disturbed. It was going to take a few hours for the webs to dissolve enough for Wade to escape his room which would give Peter plenty of time to come up with an excuse. And a chance to properly investigate whether Wade really tried to ask him out on a date with a bad prank. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to popular demand I wrote a sequel! And there will be a third one too. Maybe more? Three for sure, we'll see after that (no promises). 
> 
> All your comments made me so happy and I don't usually cave and write sequels to oneshots so... yeah y'all inspired me so thanks!

“So, I have questions.” Gwen says this from the doorway of Peter’s open dorm room. He’s lying on his floor staring up at his ceiling that currently has all his furniture attached to it. It does indeed spell out ‘date me.’ He’s been there for approximately three hours as he contemplates his life, his choices, and which college he should transfer to effectively immediately if he ever wants to live another day with the shame of both outing himself as Spider-Man and exploding webs all over his crush. Yup. He has a crush. Damn.

“I have many questions,” Gwen continues when she closes the door behind her and walks into the room to lie down next to Peter. He guesses that she’s read the furniture.

“I’m in a prank war.”

“Dating you would be one hellova prank.”

Peter elbows her in the side and she kicks his shin.

“Aunt May told us to get along.”

“You started it,” Peter grumbles.

Gwen points to the ceiling, “Evidently not.”

“Wade Wilson.”

“Did you finish it?”

Peter grimaces.

“I’ll take that as a tentative yes. What did you do. Or more accurately, how did you fuck up?”

Peter sighs loudly, “I didn’t know it said this for starters.”

Gwen hums along as Peter walks her through his tragedy of earlier that day. He’s glad that she knows about Spider-Man or he would have no one to talk about this.

“Abuse of power, Aunt May would be disappointed.”

“I’m disappointed.”

“As am I, Petey boy.” Gwen pats his shoulder but he doubts there’s much sympathy in the action. “So.”

“So?”

“You gonna go on a date with this dude or what?”

“Did you miss the part where I need to transfer to a school in Alaska and hand over the title of Spider-Man to someone worthier than me?”

“Wow Petey, that’s a lot of pressure but I know I can handle it. Thanks for thinking of me.”

Peter rolls his eyes and pushes Gwen to roll her across the carpet. Though he does believe that she would make a great Spider-Person if she had been bitten instead of him. Or if they had been bitten together. They would have made a great team.

“But seriously,” Gwen says when she rolls back over, “Do you think you can trust him?”

“I mean… maybe?”

“Good!” Gwen slaps her hand down on his chest, knocking the wind out of Peter, as she stands up. “Because you’ve already leaked your secret identity so it’s not like you’ve got much of a choice!”

Peter groans and throws his hands over his face, blocking the view of his best friend and the furniture that asks too much of him. He does not know how he’s going to show himself in Physics class tomorrow.

…

Apparently it’s in a large hoodie that definitely isn’t conspicuous at all. Wade knows what he looks like, he isn’t going to be confused by a giant hoodie sitting next to him - well actually, he’ll probably be confused but he’s one hundred percent know who’s underneath the hoodie the entire time. But Peter’s instincts aren’t exactly the best. So the hoodie is all he’s got for a defense mechanisms as he slips into his seat next to Wade.

Wade, who is already sitting in his seat. Wade, who’s eyes have been glued laser-like to Peter since he walked into the classroom. Wade, who has at least three and maybe five doodles of Spider-Man on his notebook. Wade, who is visibly sticking to his clothing in some places and having to unstick his clothes from the desk every few minutes.

It takes every bit of Peter’s willpower to keep him inside the classroom. He doesn’t know how to start this conversation and from the look on Wade’s face, Wade is waiting for Peter to be the one to start this - since he obviously fucked up their last attempt of whatever this was. His mouth unhelpfully starts with,

“So I read the furniture.”

Wade immediately starts laughing hard enough that everyone in the classroom stares at them and the professor gives them a warning look that both young men have become accustomed to, the same look that stopped them from having pranks in the classroom.

“Did it tell you how to make me unsticky?”

Peter presses his lips together, he doesn’t know how much he wants to give away. If he answers that, he might be confirming that he is indeed Spider-Man when there could be doubts. But if Wade is asking, that probably means that there are no doubts and he definitely knows that Peter is Spider-Man so what’s the point in beating around the bush?

Wade continues on, seeming to sense Peter’s hesitation. “Being bald is a blessing. No hair for that to stick to!”

Peter frowns as he watches Wade remove his hat, the one he always wears, and smooth his hand over his bare scalp. In that moment, he can tell that Wade is hesitant to do it. That he’s self-conscious about it. In all the time that he’s known Wade, which is admittedly very short, he’s never seen Wade not be entirely overconfident. It was one of his favorite things about the man, the thing that drew Peter to him in the first place. It makes Peter brave enough to lean closer and whisper,

“It’ll dissolve completely in another day or two. It won’t ruin that handsome face, I promise.”

Peter thinks he’s definitely won when Wade’s mouth hangs open in shock and a blush starts forming on his cheeks. Though he’s not sure what he’s winning. Flirting? Is Peter actually flirting with someone? With Wade?

“Holy shit,” Wade whispers. “Spider-Man is hitting on me.”

Immediately any confidence Peter had disappears and he drops his head into his hands. “This isn’t happening.”

“Oh, I think it might be. You called me handsome.”

“No, not that. I-” Peter lowers his voice and leans closer to Wade, “That I revealed my secret identity.”

“Oh that. Yeah you definitely did that. Not smooth, Parker. My room is,” Wade mimes an explosion and Peter can only imagine the chaos he left in his wake.

“In all fairness,” Peter mumbles, “You deserved it.”

“Did I?” Wade asks, leaning back in his chair, “Because I asked you out. You built an explosive device.”

“Non-lethal!”

“Tell that to my carpet.”

“It’ll… it’ll completely disintegrate. It’ll be like it was never there.”

“Ah, but I’ll know, baby boy. I’m forever haunted.”

Peter sighs, pressing his head into his arms that he’s folded on top of his desk. He feels like he should just walk out of the classroom at this point, or maybe crawl out a window, that’s more to his style.

Before he can decide on his escape route, Wade’s lips are next to his ear whispering, “If I ask you out again are you going to web me to something.”

From the tone of his voice, it sounds like Wade actually  _wants_  Peter to web him to something. He bites back a potentially damaging remark that he’s not sure he’s ready to face the consequences of and says, “What kind of a date?”

“The kind where I kiss you goodnight.”

Well, Peter isn’t quite sure he was ready for that either but that one is more manageable. Again, Peter buries his face in his arms. He can feel his cheeks heating up and even the tips of his ears. This is definitely not what he signed up for when these prank wars started. Instead of contemplating time travel, however, Peter slides his phone onto Wade’s desk, silently giving him permission to put his number into his contacts. “Yeah okay, sounds good.”


End file.
